Redneck Shopping Olympics

Every year I do Thanksgiving with my old neighbors from WV. Since the dad, Mr. Bill*, is the only person who appreciates the magic of Black Friday as much as I do, we go out as a team every year. We get up at the crack of dawn. Get dressed. I'm wearing my usual jean skirt, boots (flats for the Walmart run; the heels come out later when I hit the malls with my 6 foot tall friend), and a sweater. Mr. Bill, a rather beefy 50 year old with a round, cheerful face, is wearing saggy jeans, a t-shirt with holes, and a wind breaker from the 1980s. After a breakfast of day-old doughnuts, we head out. We climb into his green truck, circa 1970, and bounce up and down the back country roads blasting Loretta Lynn, Johnny Cash, and other old-time country legends.

As always, the Walmart parking lot is packed. People have been camped out all night to get the greatest Black Friday deals. We join the line, our hearts beating rapidly. Mr. Bill is anxious to get his hands on the 32in LCD HD flatscreen for a mere $250, but we're pretty far back, so he's twisting his advertisement, mentally preparing himself for the dangers ahead. Tickets are passed out to those in the front of the line. The campers get to go in first. We wait. I sharpen my elbows. As the doors open for the rest of us, we rush inside. Mr. Bill tries to use his size to his advantage, pushing his way through the crowd like an ogre, intent on the electronics department. I also use my size, slipping under elbows and dodging carts, racing to get Mr. Bill's TV. I beat him to the pile.

Shoppers with carts are already milling around, yelling at each other and grabbing for TVs. I dive into the pile amid the screaming, shoving rednecks. A cart slams into my side. I ignore the pain and kick out, sending the cart slamming back into my greedy attacker. Knowing that I'm too weak to lift a box and carry it through the mob, I pull one out of the pile and sit on it, yelling for Mr. Bill. He pushes his way through, grabs the TV and muscles it out of reach of the bitter crowd. Once safely in the check out line, we high-five and slap each other on the back.

We emerge from the store victorious, both having gotten that for which we came: a cheap TV for my host and, for myself, the entertainment that comes with what I have dubbed the Redneck Shopping Olympics. We return to the house to celebrate our success. I wake my friend Anne*, change into my heels, and drag her out to Target, where the relatively sane people shop and I feel less dirty spending my money.

The Walmart experience, however, is incomparable. I go not for the deals but as a test of my athleticism, ingenuity, and West Virginian roots. I imagine it is somewhat comparable to the Running of the Bulls. Are we crazy to risk being trampled for so slight a prize as a low-end television? Perhaps, but it is the thrill of danger that is the battle's true reward.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all.

*Names have been changed

Agggh

Head

Meet Wall

Pound Pound Pound

Better?

Not yet. Going for ice-cream.

Breaking News: Sexism Knows No Party!

Full disclosure. I am a feminist. I am proudly feminist. I am also a liberal. I'm sure this surprises very few people (especially since my friends are the only ones who read this). Generally, I'm a fan of the Democratic Party. I say generally, because all too often the nut-jobs disappoint me. Frankly, I hold Democrats to a higher standard. We should be better than this. We're supposed to be the party of equality, not the party of "I'll pull out the race card or the gender card when it helps, but I'll willingly use racist and sexist attacks on my opponents." Let me also emphasize that I cannot help but be disgusted by 90% of the things she says, not to mention that stupid winking thing. That being said...

There is a lot of sexism flying around out there. It isn't as "flashy" as racism. People don't instantly react. It's subtle. People aren't aware enough to see it and how it affects our perceptions of people. Mostly, people can spot it if it hurts someone they like, otherwise, it's just the way the game is played. If you can't stand the heat...

This post came about because I was on huffington post reading some fine ranting articles by liberals about how they should denounce certain republican talk show hosts for calling the senator from Louisiana a prostitute because she managed to extract $100,000,000 from the Democratic Leadership to benefit her state in exchange for her support of the health care bill.

Those liberals are right, that is sexist, and disgusting beyond words. I spent a good portion of my childhood in West Virginia. Actually, I'm heading back there for Thanksgiving (can't wait!). This state runs on federal pork. Is WV a border state? No. But the fricken coast guard is located there. Where do you think your tax papers are kept and processed? How about the distribution of Veteran's Hospitals? Yep, the federal government provides a lot of jobs in WV thanks to the seniority system and Sen. Byrd. Also, WV freeways are fantastic, though they're always under construction. I wonder why?

Some people have a problem with "pork." I really don't. While I recognize that WV doesn't really need a new freeway every year, they do need the jobs. It's that or Walmart. WV played the system. The voters (or at least enough of them) understand how the Senate works, how seniority works. Byrd certainly understands his power. He is doing a lot to keep an otherwise rather impoverished state above water. Michigan should take lessons. I did a quick google search. Would you believe that, despite all the "necessary government expenditures" (ie pork) Byrd funnels to WV, he has never been called a prostitute? Shocking.

Sen. Landrieu has figured out how the game works. Her state still badly needs money to rebuild, money which the federal government has been loath to supply. She realized that the Democrats want their health care, so she did what all savvy politicians do in that position--she ordered up some pork.

So, is it sexist to call Sen. Landrieu a prostitute for doing her job? YES. Is it wrong to photo shop a picture of her with sperm in her hair a la Cameron Diaz in There's Something About Mary? Absolutely (Thank Time magazine for that piece of brilliance) Should liberals be upset. YES. Are conservatives the only sexist assholes out there NO.

Wait, what did I just say? Naturally, I skipped the bulk of the article, because I know what it says. Frankly, I probably know more about it than the author, so I went right for the comments. That's where the interesting stuff is.

Sure enough, a lot of screaming liberals denouncing this and claiming that "this would never happen to Sarah Palin", or, as one of my favorite blogs regularly refers to her, "Sexy Sarah."

That Newsweek Cover, was it sexist? Yes. Was it as sexist as calling Landrieu a prostitute? Nope. Still, both examples show how we demean women seeking public office: we're making them sexual objects, not serious candidates. Unfortunately "she looks hot" does not win women votes, and it certainly doesn't win men votes. The difference is that the media isn't constantly trying to make male candidates hot (a seemingly impossible task to be sure).

The reality is that women who are too good looking are not taken seriously. Yes, Palin plays into that at times. She overdoes the cutsie-wootsie. It makes me sick to my stomach to watch. But she would not have chosen that picture to be on the cover. That picture was taken for the purpose of being used in a running magazine, not a political magazine. It was used without her permission. It's not illegal, and she's a public figure, but it does not say good things about our media. I somehow doubt Newsweek would do a "serious" feature of a male political figure and put him in running shorts and a tight fitting top on the cover. While that kind of picture sometimes appears in such magazines (the Obama swimsuit picture comes to mind) it is not a "cover" photo, certainly not when the article is supposed to be a political assessment rather than a fashion critique.

If Democrats and liberals really oppose sexism, then we need to oppose it all the time, not just when it's convenient. Call it out when you see it, whether you hate the woman or not. One of my best teachers in high school used to say that insults are a sign of weakness. If the best you can do to fight off Sarah Palin is Photoshop a picture of her wearing an American Flag Bikini and holding an M-16, well, you probably don't know much about the issues either.

So, here are some links to let people start thinking:

Sen. Landrieu

Sarah Palin 1

Sarah Palin 2

And here, so you fully appreciate the Byrd reference, a rather critical portrait of the Sen. from WV...without any prostitution references.

I never learn...

It's a bit nippy in my apartment. Nippy enough that I've been shivering since I got home. I refuse to turn on the heat because I'm too cheap. Being a certified genius, what do I do?

Eat ice-cream. Actually, Rainbow Sherbet, which mini-chocolate chips. I also store my mini chocolate chips in the freezer because I like them to be nice and crunchy. Basically, I just ate a bowl full of cold.

Sigh, I suspect it's time to find where I stuffed that comforter...

Life: Faint of Heart Need Not Apply

So, I had the most depressing conversation with a friend today. She told me that she knew what she really wanted to do, but that she couldn't put in the money to get the proper degree when she knew that finding the right job in the field would be almost impossible. In short, the risk of unemployment is just too big. She believes that it's better to find something that she kind of likes that's a guaranteed job.

The problem? There is no such thing as a guaranteed job, not anymore. When I entered law school, the motto was "It's UVA, everyone finds a job." Indeed, everyone was expected to find a job--a job at a big firm with a big firm salary. There was "no risk" in investing hundreds of thousands of dollars (emphasis on the plural at the end of hundreds) in getting said degree, because "EVERYONE FINDS A JOB." Then the economy crashed, and there are a lot of depressed people around school because not everybody is finding a job. Not all the 3Ls, not all the 2Ls, and, come spring, I suspect that there will be some very disappointed 1Ls.

Out of everyone, you know who is the most depressed? The people that came to law school because "everyone finds a job." That's, thankfully, not why I came. I came to law school because I have a passion for women's issues, for lobbying, and simply for helping people. I knew that I would be taking out a lot of loans (I could have purchased my dad's house kind of loans) and that I would not be getting a big firm salary. I knew that finding a job in the public interest sector would be more difficult. Frankly, openings in my field don't happen every year. I know that I'll probably have to defer the dream, work in something that's not ideal for a time, live off Ramen Noodles while trying to pay back my loans, but I came here anyway, and I'm still glad I did.

I'm not a risk taker in every aspect of my life. I find the prospect of failing to pay off my credit card in full every month terrifying. We won't even go into relationships and my lack of risk taking in that arena. School, however, is something I've always been willing to take risks on. No matter how tough the odds, how scary the job prospects (let me impress once again on how terrifying they are), how much debt I'll be in when I graduate, I know I will make it. Somehow, I will make it. Maybe I'll end up with a financial need deferment on the loans. Maybe I'll have to live in the basement of some old person's house and wash their smelly, wrinkly old feet when I get off work for a discount on the rent, but I will find a way.

My advice to anyone reading this? Don't settle for a job you're not passionate about. Aim high, aim for what you want to do. In my mind, it's better to be a passionate and starving artist than a semi-successful person trapped in a job that is merely tolerable.

At least my happiness doesn't depend on the state of the economy.

Procrastination wins again!

I just completed 3% of my education law outline.

And spent 2 solid hours doing it.

Largely because I was on g-chat/facebook/politico/huffington post/drudge report/real clear politics/washington post/Duluth News Tribune for most of that time.

Having been less than productive, I've decided it's time to take a lunch break. A nice long blog filled lunch break.

In other news, congratulations to Duluth, MN for continuing the tradition of having a ridiculously early Christmas Parade. On a similar note, the Duluth News Tribune needs to put more pictures up on it's website so I can relive my childhood. Seriously DNT? No pictures of the high school bands? I mean, I'm all for the picture of the people walking in sweat shirts who were supposed to be from a dance academy (Did they actually dance? Photographer budget get cut or something?), but I hate missing out on the pictures of tubas frozen to poor kid's lips.

Black Friday Better Be Worth It

I have no money to spend on Black Friday. Poor planning on my part since it is my favorite "holiday" of the year. Then again, one of the first things my mother taught me was that the joy of shopping can be separated from the joy of spending. The current plan, therefore, is to get enough work done now so that I can elbow my way through crowded malls, checking out the great deals, perhaps calling friends when I see something perfect for them. Ahh, the joys of the holidays.

Sadly, this plan has left me in the library outlining. It's Saturday night. How lame is that? People might start thinking I'm a gunner. I'll lose my reputation as "that girl" who never does any classwork, relying instead on my great wit and charm* to get me through cold calls.

Thank goodness I have this blog now though. While other poor suckers are sitting around highlighting (in multiple colors no less), I'm typing away. At least I secured a steaming mug of hot chocolate from the machine in the library. All I can say is that Black Friday best not disappoint!

*by "wit and charm" I mean astounding ability to turn bright red and mumble until the professor takes pity on me and awkwardly moves on to someone else.

Guilt free shopping

There are bad people in this world. Bad people that steal really pretty stuff, bad people that drive while drunk and get their Lazy Boys confiscated. However, those of us who just love a good deal (and not necessarily on a motorized easy chair), can appreciate these bad people for all the good they bring to us...at insanely cheap prices.

Thus began my love affair with www.propertyroom.com. A fabulous police auction site and the place to go for gorgeous and cheap jewelry. Of course, you have to bid on items, so it's best to know in advance what the maximum you'd be willing to pay is, but oh the things you can find. Take this lovely ring. I want it, and I don't even like wearing rings!

($26.50, auction ends in 15 minutes). Is it disturbing that I see this and think "Ooh, pretty. And it would make such an awesome indent if you punched someone while wearing it"?

Or how about this painting? I would say it would look fantastic in my living room, but my living room screams "impoverished student" not "fine art." For those with more taste (but not necessarily more money) this Heddy Kun painting is currently $13 (hand signed with certificate of authenticity) and will be up for another 2 days. BTW I just looked Heddy Kun up on wikipedia and google. She sounds amazing!

Sadly, I must stop my online shopping non-spree and return to the real world and outlining. I hate outlining. A tip for anyone considering law school: outlining is much easier if you've already read the material, or if you paid attention in class. There is a reason that law school classes are not taught in a week. Naturally, this hasn't stopped me from learning everything I need to learn in the shortest time possible. My greatest achievement? Employment Discrimination. I did all the reading in 2 very long days. The results were surprisingly good. Since I'll probably be repeating the experiment with Professional Responsibility this semester, I'll let you know if it's a reliable technique. But for now, Legislation calls.

Peyote and NCLB? Welcome to law school.

I walked into my Education Law and Policy class today prepared to discuss No Child Left Behind.

Let me start over, I walked into my Education Law and Policy class completely unprepared to discuss No Child Left Behind as I'm not on call and hadn't done the reading.

You can imagine my confusion, then, when I saw the professor trying to get a youtube clip to properly play on the screen. (Sidenote, don't they do trainings for professors on these screens? Because I have yet to have one that knows how to work them). The clip title? Religious Peyote.

Last time I checked, NCLB did not involve scared drugs. I love law school.

Texas Dogs are Not Barking

So, back to my somewhat lovable but dysfunctional family, I have not yet mentioned my aunt and uncle who now live in Texas. They're conservative. They're Christian. They attend church in an amphitheater the size of a football stadium. In Texas, it's apparently a small church.

To say the least, we don't have a lot in common politically, particularly on gay marriage. I'm a fan. They're not. So, you cannot imagine my delight when a friend passed this gem of an article on to me.

Ooops, Texas banned real marriage while attempting to ban gay marriage. For those too lazy to read the article (no judgments, we all have lives), the Texas Constitution tries to ban gay marriage with this phrase:

"Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman." Pretty straightforward and seemingly legal until someone important says otherwise (please someone important, say otherwise).

If they would have stopped there, then I would be far less entertained. Luckily, they didn't stop there. Those hard working legislators just had to jam in some extra words to clarify what they meant. In an attempt to ban civil unions or other legal status that might look like marriage, the legislator added (and voters approved) this priceless section:

"This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

Whoops. Texans need to start paying the people who draft their Constitution more. Actually, I'm a bit short on funds right now, so I'll correct this mistake for $200. Check or Direct Deposit preferred.

If they had just added a little phrase like "except marriage as it is defined by this statute" or "except marriage between one man and one woman" or just deleting the words "identical or" they would be in the clear. Someone, however was lazy and/or stupid.

Don't get too excited though, almost any judge would dismiss this discovery. I highly doubt marriage in TX is endangered. Since I'm studying for my legislation (ie statutory interpretation) final, here's the analysis that saves marriage:

1. Textual Line drawing: challenge the use of the word "identical." While some logical people believe that the word means "the same as," one could coherently argue that, in this context, it means "the same as but not actually." Of course, this forced interpretation brings up the rule of construing statutes to avoid redundancy because "the same as but not actually" is pretty darn close to "similar to." However, one could validly argue that since this interpretation of "identical" is stronger (meaning, it must be the same as marriage) and "similar to" has a lower floor (which could, conceivably include some but not all marital rights), the two provisions are not redundant, at least not to the point of rendering the definition of identical invalid.

2. Intent argument: It's pretty obvious that the people of Texas didn't intend to invalidate all marriages within the state. Courts can invalidate the clear language of a statute if the judges believe that the situation is not what Congress intended by the language. See Church of the Holy Trinity v. United States, 143 U.S. 457 (1892) (holding that, despite the plan language of the statute banning the importation of laborers, Congress did not intend to prohibit churches from importing ministers).

I'm sure there's a whole long legislative history full of blow-hards yammering on about defending the institution of marriage, not chucking it out the window. Furthermore, such a reading would invalidate every law in Texas relating to marriage, and I doubt the legislature would have done such a thing without saying they were doing it. For your reference (and because I should be studying), this "they would have said it" argument is called the Dog that Didn't Bark. I'm a cat person, but I still find that an awesome way to name a cannon of interpretation. Woof Woof!

3. Call it a Scrivener's error and be done with it. People are stupid. They make mistakes. This is a mistake and the courts shouldn't enforce it. Easy as that.

Sigh, so there is still marriage in Texas, unless you get one hell of a crazy judge. Hey, it could happen. Judges are elected down there. Of course, knowing how a court case would come out won't stop me from calling my aunt and uncle and informing them that, thanks to Texas's anti-gay marriage provision, they aren't actually married. For once I'm pretending to be a pure textualist. Yay for shredding (straight) marriage by channeling Scalia. How often does that happen?

All About Me

Hello to anyone and everyone. I hope that this blog represents my interests, my life. To start, I should probably introduce myself.

I'm currently a 2L at the University of Virginia. This summer, I'm on my way to Minneapolis for an internship with the Battered Women's Legal Advocacy Project. Hopefully, this internship will open doors in DC, where I hope to move after graduation to lobby on behalf of women's issues.

Outside of law school, which eats up a ton of time, my life revolves around my friends and my cats. Yes, I am that crazy cat lady. I embrace the identity.

My friends are all great. I have 4 sets of them. My MN friends, my adult friends, my DC friends, and my UVA friends. I often joke that I'm the sane one of the bunch. To some extent, that's true. I know what I want out of my life, and I'm on track to get to it. I'm also not the relationship type, at least not yet. I'm happy being single, and I'm not out looking for someone to complete that life. I'm already complete, though having someone to celebrate that completeness isn't a bad thing. A lot of my friends are currently working through some issues. Life issues, love issues, future issues. I like being the person they turn to when they need advice or support. Helping others is a big part of my identity. I love being needed. I love being useful, but, mostly, I love being reliable.

Another important thing about me is that I never get tired of learning, but I prefer teaching myself. Because of this, I tend to learn rather slowly and in fits. I spent a lot of my time when I was younger fighting being too "girly." Now, having lost so many women in my life--my mom, my grandmother, my great-aunt, I'm wishing that I had learned more from them. I don't really know how to cook, but I'm learning. I have memories of what my mom used to do: pouring ginger-ale over ham and stuffing it with cloves before baking, but those memories are limited. I also tracked down my grandmother's (and mother's) spice cake recipe. I make it pretty well, if I do say so myself.

I also periodically try crafty things like knitting (I'm terrible. It takes me forever to do a single scarf row), and every once in awhile I walk by a sewing machine in a store and consider getting it. My mom was one of 7 children, and she had to learn to make her own clothing. I like new clothing, but I just can't afford it on a public interest law salary considering the immense amount of debt I'm accumulating here at UVA. Basically, I'll be lucky to escape school with less than $200,000 worth of education debt. Coincidently, student loans can't be bankrupted.

That's another one of my interests, personal finances. I love saving money, having money, managing money. I'm pretty good with it. I keep careful tabs on my credit cards, update my budget spreadsheet once a month, and try to keep a close watch on my spending. I've never missed a credit card payment, and my credit rating is fantastic. If I was going to give advice to anyone just starting out, I would tell them to watch their credit like a hawk. Having a great credit score just makes life so much easier, particularly when you're young. I don't have to worry about not getting approval for a student loan, or being reject for a credit card. I know that when I'm ready to buy a house or a car (which I bought last June!), I'll be given a prime interest rate. Actually, I don't pay any interest on my car loan. 0% APR for the life of the loan. That interest rate allowed me to upgrade to a bigger, better, more fuel efficient car than I otherwise could have. (My precious prius!)

Oddly enough, even though I like saving money, I LOVE shopping. It's hereditary. My mom used to drag my brother and I out of bed early in the morning so we could drive to one of her many favorite malls, be there when it opened, and not leave until after the doors locked at closing. Shopping is therapy for me, and like spice cake, it's a way to remember my mom. Luckily, I've learned to shop for the joy of shopping, not the joy of spending. It's not unusual for me to go out for a day or a weekend and come back without any packages. Actually, those are usually the best trips.

So, baking, sewing, and shopping, I'm hardly living up to my non-girly ideal. It's ok though, I've learned that I don't have to be a tough girl all the time. I do have some less prissy hobbies to balance myself out. I love sports movies (my movie collection comes in 4 parts: gifts from other people, feminist flicks, sports movies, and chick flicks), which is odd because I'm not much of a sports fan. I'll happily kick a soccer ball around, but anything else I find rather dull, and I can't get into watching sports on TV. I am moderately outdoorsy though. I love hiking and spent a good portion of previous summers exploring different trails near my house. I also like computer games (particularly RPG games) and wii boxing.

My family life can be full of drama, though it seems to have calmed down a bit. I've acquired a semi-psychotic stepmother relatively recently (about a year and a half ago). We'll just call her Lady T. She was my high school English teacher, and I liked her much better when she wasn't "family." The basic problem is that she's rather insecure, and, unfortunately, she find me threatening since my dad is very open about the fact that I'm his "best friend." She just doesn't understand that a man can have 2 women in his life, particularly when one is his adult daughter.

Dad and Lady T recently moved to Vegas. I'm flying out there for Christmas. Being from MN, I can't imagine a warm Christmas, but I guess I'll have to get over that. It'll be my first trip to the new house since they've moved (indeed, my first trip to Vegas ever), so I'm hoping that she'll have settled down a bit now that she has her own territory (she moved into Dad's house back in MN, so she felt like she was living in "another woman's" home. It didn't help that my dad either refused, or, more likely, wasn't asked to take down the wedding picture of him and my mother.)

I'll certainly let everyone know how Christmas turns out this year, if it was anything like last year, there will be plenty to write about.

Other than that, I hope to share stories about my life, school, past, and future. Undoubtedly, there will also be the periodic fantastic shoe find posted, the political rant, or a pat on the back for fixing some crazy thing in my apartment without help. Sadly, for now I have to sign off. Finals are coming up and I can only procrastinate for so long before I have to get to outlining.

Hopefully this was a good beginning!